Hey.
So, I came out really late in life, at 23 years of age. My fear of coming out was mostly because of the fear of being that type of different. It’s ironic as I always worked hard to be different from everybody else, except for this part of my life.
I grew up with two brothers, and they were always the Don Juan type, with lots of girls doting on them and wooed by them. I always felt I needed to be the same as them, and so I have acted out as strong as I possibly could.
Thankfully, I have decided to break free of my own safety nets and decided to leave home and be independent, as soon as I graduated. I started working with two gay brothers that were so inspiring to me. They were the ones that helped me come out and be proud of who I really was without fear or shame.
After that, I had the most normal life. I did not have gay friends, I would not go out to gay places or even accept men’s hints or full-on attempts to get my attention. I had moved to the Algarve by then and was making more gay friends and learning about what was gay and what me, as a gay man, represented.
I returned to Lisbon with a new drive and came out to my entire family. Some accepted me right away, my grandparents still are my best supporters. Some took time, like my father and older brother, others simply did not understand or try to accept it. I was ok with this. I still am in fact!
I have tried the gayest life I could possibly have, clubbing, drag, hookups, camp, queer, you name it, I possibly have done it!
At the age of 34, I moved to London. I had lived a great life and was so happy to be there that I toned it down, like seriously down. Although more active in the gay community, I was less of a party goer and more into spending time with new friends and the family I had created there.
I met a guy, he chased me for 1.5 years. One day we bumped into each other, at a club, during my friend’s birthday. He asked me out for dinner. And we got married a year after that. We have been together for 6 years now!
We had both our families together although they don’t speak a word of the other’s language! It was a magical day. I know that so many stories don’t have my happy ending. I know that so many of us, out there, still fight to be recognized to something as simple as citizens.
But I am a believer that one day, there won’t be dating a boy or dating a girl. There will only be an “I’m in love”.
At Foundever, we don’t just promote diversity, we embrace it! In honor of International Pride Month, we’re celebrating our uniqueness by sharing stories of pride, inclusiveness and daring to be different.